This is where I will tell you answers made of questionable truths.

Where are you based?

Currently in Portland, OR. Somewhere under an electric blanket. Originally from Texas, y'all.

Why does your website look so... homemade?

Hell, I barely know how to turn on my computer. What do y'all expect of me--The Sistine Chapel? I don't appreciate your euphemisms.

Why do you say "y'all" so much?

Why y'all don't?!